How to be an amazing piece of sh*t in 5 simple steps

September 14, 2022

Surely you are aware of all the horrendous advice out there. Any and everyone seems to be putting out pieces of how to be a more prosperous and better person; become a high achiever, make 6 figures in 90 days, and all that crap.

Whether they are a charlatan putting this material out simply to gain exposure or someone who is actually the real deal, the fact is, there is too much of the same advice out there. And it’s just chopped up in different ways.

That nonsense aside, this article of wisdom is designed to set the record straight. In the following article (and likely more to come) you will be provided with the best and truest advice you will come across on how to be a great person. You can be sure of this because you are reading this on the internet, and we know everything is true here.

So sit back, relax , grab a beer, kick the dog and enjoy.

1. Take advantage of people

This is greatness 101. People are simply pawns for you to use. Who cares about their feelings and what’s going on in their internal world because it has no effect on you. Another person isn’t an individual soul with similar thoughts, feelings, dreams, emotions, problems, and perspectives as you. How can they? So, take advantage of them.

If you can get over on someone quickly and easily, DO IT. Because screwing someone over for your personal advantage is one of the keys to life. If you can make a dollar or two extra by selling someone down the river or throwing someone under the bus. DO IT. Life’s too short to be honorable and respectable. Take advantage of the people necessary to get ahead and you’ll live a wonderful life.

For example, If you are an employer, cut your employees pay to give more to yourself. Cut training, cut research and development, cut everything and put the short-term profits in your pocket (see item 2). After all, a well-trained, happy, invested-in employee is bad for your bottom line. That extra net income can always be spent on better things for you like cocaine and hookers.

If your friend is doing better of them, try to undermine them in various ways. Whether it be subtly of insults when they around, or straight up try to take advantage of their success. Or, even better, sabotage them (see item 5). Friends and a sense of healthy community aren’t as important as you getting ahead. PERIOD. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

2. Only care about money

As per the previous subject item, everyone knows this is where all the value is. Money is the most important thing in life. It’s so important that that we made up its importance. Even though currency is intrinsically worth just as much as a scrap of paper towel, don’t undervalue how much it should be the focal point of everything in your life.

There isn’t as much value in strong lasting friendships, relationships, community, business relations, health, adventure, integrity, and being a virtuous human being. F*ck that, money is what nourishes and enriches the soul of man. No need for that stuff, chase money by any means necessary.

Stay in the office late, miss your kids’ sports games, take advantage of others (see step 1), be so cheap and stingy that it would make scrooge cringe. Life isn’t about people, connection, community and finding fulfillment, it’s all about those green pieces of paper (or more colorful pieces of paper in many countries outside the US).

If you stick to this infinite paper chase, eventually you’ll be able to squeeze some genuine happiness and fulfillment out of it, right? If not, you can always buy an expensive pair of shoes. Your artificial friends will surely say they like them.

3. Stay Close Minded

What great new idea and invention came from someone trying something new or thinking outside the box? The answer is very few (I read this on the internet.) So why would you waste a minute of your time trying to expand your mental capacity and potential?

Where you grew up, where you came from, and your current set of thinking is good enough. Besides, who cares about other people’s perspectives and expanding your knowledge. God forbid it makes you rethink things in your life.

So, do not try new things, do not expand your thinking, do not open your attitude, do not travel, do not explore, do not be open to new or different perspectives. Lose your willingness to learn, adapt, and evolve, and settle into the same person you were 10 or 20 years ago.

Because progress and evolving goes against nature itself.

On top of that, it’s much simpler to keep a closed mind. Not much mental energy is needed. And in your mind, you already know everything! And that is a great place to be. Cheetos on the couch and yelling at the guys in helmets on the TV awaits.

4. Seek Pleasures over Joy

“It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures, but the foolish to be a slave to them. Epictetus”
“That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest. Henry David Thoreau”

These two clearly lack any taste and refinement. Pleasures are all there are in life. The quicker, the faster, the more fleeting, the better. Booze it up, drug it up, party it up, sex, drugs and rock and roll on every day that ends in “y”. None of that ever ended badly.

What else is there in life besides high-altitude pleasure? I’ve never met anyone having a bad time on cocaine, at least not until the next morning or between rage episodes, but hey, the rush is always worth it. Never mind the descent, reach for higher and higher altitudes of pleasure, the more artificial the better.

Once I heard pleasure burns fast and hot, while joy warms the soul for an eternity. Another horrendous quote and justification.

These quick fleeting pleasures are what keeps people’s mind off of the fact they are unhappy in their life and on their path. Or maybe they don’t even have a path, that’s fine, don’t worry about it, have another drink and watch the boob tube for 7 hours.

Put aside those moments of joy when trying new things, expanding your mental palette, passing time with loved ones. All that garbage is for the birds. Give me a bag, a beer and good time and don’t wake me up until 5…pm.

4. Criticize others (and everything)

Yes, everyone else and everything you’re not into does suck. People suck, that restaurant sucks, this website sucks, I don’t like how that person does things, so they suck. After all, because you think in the limited way that you do, it must be true. No logical fallacy to be had anywhere here.

Here is a quote by Teddy Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I disagree completely, besides, what does he know. The critic is the only one who counts. What job is more notable and honorable than one whose purpose is to talk negatively about people who produce and achieve things they probably never will?

Criticizing everyone and everything for what they are and what they are not the spice of life. It doesn’t have anything to do with jealousy or feelings of inferiority of others, no way! Critics try to help by breaking and beating people down for everything they do. The best critics are especially gifted at this, and you should adopt the same mindset.

Why encourage others when you can instead laugh at them for messing up? Instead of being inspired by someone else’s path, new vision, or courage to try something new, berate them right from the start so you don’t look stupid.

Criticize people when they are doing good, then hopefully they fail, so you can again criticize them for that as well. And this will make you feel like a good person.

Well, there you have it. If you want to get ahead in life. Or if you want to get just ahead enough to sit on the couch and eat Cheetos, be sure to follow these steps to fruition. Never stop being a piece of sh*t, never stop trying to get over on people. This hustle never stops. See you at the top…or maybe the bottom.

Before you go, lets talk
I believe everyone can uncover power and potential in themselves they never knew they had, using their personal creativity to refine their lives to be the greatest version of themselves. I did it in my life, and now I want to help you. I can help strip out anything that may be holding you back to build you back up in order to get you going strongly on your path to true betterment, designing the life you want to live and becoming the person you want to be.

Contact me below to get started on your journey.

Peace and talk soon,
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